The joy of unsubscribing

This week’s weird idea

Lately I’ve been taking a close, at times harsh, look at each email that drones its way into my inbox. Do I really need that sale announcement from a contractor I contacted for a bid and then didn’t hire? Really? Am I sure?

If the answer is “no,” that’s when I use the powerful unsubscribe button. Thus the thundering whine of my morass of messages gets quieter and quieter.

Like all human endeavors, this experience varies from case to case. Here are some of the highlights of my Adventures in Unsubscribing:

Most satisfying unsubscribe

After they committed two own goals in one year (canceling the number one late night show, and gutting a top global news organization), I decided I’d had enough of CBS and canceled my subscription to their streaming service. You can tell I’m serious about this, because this also means I have cut off my access to any new Star Trek. Star Trek!

The announcement they sent me was appropriately monolithic:

Most irritating unsubscribe

I use Canva to make quick logos, biz cards, etc. It has some AI features, like background removal, that are legitimate uses of the tech. Others, like generative creation of text and graphics, not so much. So turning off the generative features should be easy, right? Nope. I had to scroll through this dense thicket of market-speak feature titles:

Most beautiful unsubscribe

They didn’t have to do this. This gesture made me actually take a second look at the site to see if I was being hasty with the unsubscribe. Well played, cancellation notice, well played:

Go see

A surprisingly thoughtful breakdown of who is the baddest of the bad. It would be interesting to apply this to certain tech overlords and political grifters.

Who Is the Most Evil Disney Villain of All Time?

Disney is beloved for its awe-inspiring worlds, its quirky cast of champions, and the valuable lessons we learn amid laughter and suspense. While the protagonists are charming and lovable, it is often the Disney antagonists that make the stories truly compelling. Without conflict, Disney would lack the rousing resolutions for which it is famous. Disney [...]

PixlParadeApril Williamsen

Have a listen

Look, I’m not saying this is the kind of music I want to listen to all the time, but I am saying that I’m glad to live in a world where these crazy Canadians can do what they do.

And keep breathing

To misquote Buckaroo Banzai “wherever you go, there you breathe.”

When I took SCUBA classes, I was constantly reminded not to hold my breath underwater. If I had the tank’s mouthpiece (regulator) in my mouth, I needed to keep breathing regularly. And if the regulator was ever out of my mouth, I needed to continually exhale a tiny stream of air to protect my lungs from the water pressure.

It’s the same when I swim laps. I’m breathing the whole time—slowly exhaling through my nose as I swim, then taking a quick inhale through my mouth as I turn my head.

Now obviously, do not inhale water (a public service announcement brought to you by Coughing™: “the friendly spasm that keeps crap that isn’t air out of your lungs”). But even immersed in an alien environment, the cadence of breathing doesn’t stop, it adapts.

So I hope you keep breathing. Wherever you are.

Until we talk again, I remain,

Your pal,

Jamie

P.S. Yes, there is an unsubscribe button at the bottom of this very email. I’ll keep trying my darnedest to keep this newsletter fun and useful. Ultimately, you are the boss of you, so I’ll respect whatever decision you make. There may be tears, though.